Guide
What is intimacy coaching?
A plain-English guide to what an intimacy coach actually does, how the work differs from therapy and sex therapy, and how to know if it's right for you.
The short version
An intimacy coach helps you build a more honest, embodied, and connected relationship with yourself and the people you love. The work covers communication, desire, boundaries, shame, trauma resolution, and the practical skills of being close — solo, with a partner, or in non-traditional relationships.
It is not therapy. It is not advice. It is not a script. It's a structured space to practice the relating you actually want, with someone who can see the patterns you can't.
Coaching vs therapy, at a glance
They're complementary, not competing. Many clients work with both at once.
| Dimension | Intimacy coaching | Therapy |
|---|---|---|
| Primary aim | Build skills for honest, embodied connection — now and going forward. | Diagnose and treat mental-health conditions; understand the roots of patterns. |
| Direction | Multi-directional. Where did you come from, where do you want to go, and how do you get there? | Often backward-focused. Where did this come from? |
| Method | Experiential. Practice the relating itself — communication, desire, boundaries. | Predominantly talk-based; clinical frameworks and treatment plans. |
| Credentialing | Specialized training (e.g. Somatica Institute). Not a licensed clinical role. | Licensed clinician (LMFT, LCSW, PhD, PsyD). |
| Good fit when | You want to grow, deepen, repair, or design how you love. | You're treating a mental-health condition or working with acute trauma. |
Is it the same as sex coaching?
There's overlap, but intimacy coaching is broader. Sex therapy is a clinical specialty focused on sexual dysfunction. Sex coaching focuses on erotic skills. Intimacy coaching includes both when relevant, and addresses self-intimacy, communication, attachment, trauma resolution, and the whole landscape of being close.
If sex is the conversation you want to have, we can have it. If it's grief, or fatherhood, or the way you go silent when your partner asks what you need — we can have that one too.
Who it's for
- You feel disconnected from your body, your desire, or your partner.
- You keep repeating the same painful pattern in relationships.
- You want a more honest sex life and don't know how to ask for it.
- You're navigating a major transition — new relationship, separation, becoming a parent, midlife, grief.
- You're in a long partnership that has gone quiet and you want it alive again.
- You're designing a non-traditional relationship and want a guide.
- You're a man who wants to feel more, communicate more, and shut down less.
When it's not the right fit
- You're in acute crisis or need clinical treatment for a mental-health condition — start with a licensed therapist.
- You want someone to tell you the 'right' way to be in a relationship — coaching is about your honest answer, not a template.
- You're not willing to practice between sessions — the work happens in your week, not the call.
What a session actually looks like
Sessions are talk-based and held over video or, when you're on Maui, in person. We start with what's alive for you that week — a conversation you're avoiding, a pattern that keeps showing up, a desire you can't name.
From there we slow down. We notice what your body is doing while you tell the story. We find the place where the old pattern starts, and we practice a different move. You leave with a clearer sense of what you want and one concrete practice to try before the next session.
About my training
I'm a Somatica Institute trained intimacy coach — the leading intimacy coaching school in the world. The Somatica method blends somatic awareness, attachment theory, and experiential practice, which is why the work in a session is felt, not just discussed.
More about my background and approach is on the about page.
Curious if we're a fit?
The fastest way to know is a conversation. Book a discovery call and we'll see what's true for you and whether this work is the right next step.